How Often Do I Text This Guy That I Met On An Online Dating Site?

Swiftly, But Not Too Soon

Timing is the key to success. When sending simple messages (not chat texts), make sure to keep a brief pause between your replies, otherwise you might seem overly attached to the person and give the impression you have nothing better to do. On the other hand, being late to respond while chatting gives the impression that you are bored, not interested or multitasking, which can be quite an insult.

It’s also worthwhile to take a peek at the clock before sending a message. Doing so on a Saturday night tells the other that you have no social life, even if you do. Texting someone late at night is also often considered rude, since your would-be partner might want to sleep.

Patience is key with online dating, and that’s true when it comes to messages, too. Never spam the other person with messages, you should rather wait for the other to reply instead of demanding their attention. There is often a reason behind your potential date’s disappearance, such as a family visit, hospitalization, work problems, or simply connectivity issues. There is nothing more disheartening than seeing a truckload of angry messages after a brief hiatus.

Unfortunately, not every one of your dates will continue to respond. Ghosting is a sad trend in dating where someone wishes to break up with the other by ceasing all forms of communication. If you suspect that your match is avoiding you, wait a few days and then write them a short message asking whether they wish to continue the relationship. If no answer is given, then give up on them – that person doesn’t deserve your attention.


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2) You Speak Too Much

On the flip side, you could put too much into it – you could text too much. Back and forth, back and forth.

When this happens, time can pass very quickly and – what you don’t actually always realise – is you end up spending HOURS every day, messaging them, and all that time starts to accumulate.

This not only intensifies the relationship and typically makes it progress faster (because you feel like you know someone more than you actually do) but you’re basically speeding up the process of forming that connection.

You’ve been speaking weeks, but it feels like months.

#3: How often should you text a girl you just met

There’s a massive opportunity for you when meeting a girl in real life.

Yes, that’s right. I said in real life.

So this tip is about girls you met face to face…

On a date, or on the street, or in a club… Offline.

Unfortunately, most men don’t utilize this opportunity.

Has a girl ever been annoyed with you because of how you texted?

Maybe she thought you texted to seldomly.

Or your texts were too dry.

Or maybe she got annoyed at the irregularity of your replies?

All of this can be prevented with one simple trick.

(I don’t like the word trick as it implies tricking someone, and that’s the opposite of what we’re about to do.)

So what you do is this:

During the meetup, talk to her about texting.

If you’re not the biggest fan of messaging back and forth, then just tell her.

“Hey, just so you know, I’m not much of a texter. So if I seem a bit distant or unexcited it’s just because I’m not often on my phone.”

This way you set the right expectations.

By telling her about your Path, she knows what Pattern to expect from you.

Resulting in more Positive reactions.

Should I Be Worried If He Doesn’t Text Me Everyday?

In my work, I find many women get triggered when they don’t hear from a guy for a few days. It can bring up fears, and insecurities. Which leave them imagining the worst scenarios possible.

Ultimately, defaulting to thinking that he’s disappeared or not interested any more.

But that simply isn’t true.

Even though you may want him to text you everyday. It doesn’t mean that there’s a problem if you don’t talk everyday.

That said, even if a guy does text you everyday, it doesn’t mean that he’s serious about you either.

There are plenty of men that will text you everyday, but never move the relationship forward.

If you find that you are getting anxious when you don’t hear from him everyday. Then it’s important to work on developing your self-worth, mindset and building confidence.

So that when things don’t go the way you expect, you’re able maintain a sense of peace and resilience. Easily able to keep the situation in perspective. Instead of going into a tailspin over a guy you barely know.

Does Texting Count As Dating?

No, texting is not dating. It’s safe to assume that just because you are only texting a person you are not also dating this person if it’s only exclusive to text messaging.

Much like having a long-distance relationship with someone you have never met. It’s always going to be hard to justify to yourself and others that you are dating this person if you have never met them face-to-face.

If you have met them, but are only now texting them. This on its own does not constitute a relationship or hold the guarantee it’s not just flirting, or this other person is exclusive to only you.

You first need to mutually agree that you are dating, and have a view that you are going to meet up or make it official.

While some people do believe it’s possible to be dating someone over text messages alone or be part of a ‘text relationship’.

If all your communication is done primarily by text message. You are missing out on many of the key indicators that help ensure the relationship is moving forward and you are in fact dating this person.

[Read: The Worrying Signs You Are Being Catfished]

In an ideal situation, you should be looking to meet this person or make your views on dating each other official.

If you fail to do this or continue having a relationship exclusively over text. You are falling into many of the unknowns or grey areas that can make maintaining this kind of relationship very difficult.

How can you be sure of real attraction or real connection if most of the communication is only done through text messaging? You need a real connection with this person, or real face-face interaction to solidify your relationship and the belief that you are truly dating them.

What Does That Mean In Time Terms?

In terms of how much time that actually equates to, it’s likely to be different amounts for different people, and vary day to day. I mean:

  • If you’ve got an especially busy week, you’re likely to speak less. But then maybe you make up for that by having a quick call one evening in the week instead of texting, or know you have a date to look forward to on the weekend once it cools off.
  • Or maybe your schedule is pretty free. You have a chilled Sunday and so you spend all evening, nattering away to this person, in full flow… but it’s fun, you’re enjoying it and that’s not something that happens every day.
  • You could be a big texter, he could not be. Or vice versa.

So it’s difficult to say how long is too long, or how long is too little when it comes to how often you should text someone when dating. It entirely depends on the two of you.

What’s also worth taking into consideration – is how much you see each other. If it’s fairly regularly, you’re actually better to save the big chats to in person (as these kind of conversations form more of a bond when done face to face.)

So take it all in, weigh it all up and assess each situation individually to better determine if you’ve got the balance right.

HEADS UP: If you’re not sure, reach out. Ask me. I’ll help you to determine if the balance is right. I can also help you if you know you consistently come on too strong, or struggle to connect… then we can work through how to get it back and stop making the same mistakes. [Click here to read more on my support.]

Is Texting Everyday Too Clingy?

When you are dating someone does texting them everyday make you seem too clingy? How much texting is too much and should you be careful not to text them too frequently to avoid looking needy or clingy?

The simple answer is no. Texting them every day is not too clingy especially if you have built up a good habit of communicating with the person you are dating through text, or talk daily and catch up with one another.

Typically the only real risk of appearing clingy happens when the person you are texting is not used to this level of communication from you. They might also have their own hidden expectations from you in the relationship that do not match up with the current level of texting or messages you are sending to them.

If you miss them or miss seeing them. It’s completely natural to want to send them constant texts to find out what they are up to, or how they are doing.

However, everyone is different. When it comes to dating and texting, some people find things to seem or appear clingy that others might not. It’s all down to personal preference or how serious or relaxed both people want things to be whilst dating.

There is no golden rule to tell you how often you should text them to ensure you do not look or appear clingy.

You just need to use your judgment or better still, talk to the person you are dating about how much they like to hear from you and the times of day you should text each other the most.

It’s far better to have a mutual understanding of when to text, and how much is too much. Rather than bombarding them with texts, and wondering why they don’t reply.

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