Content of the material
Offer to help the host
Whether you volunteer to assist in pre-party set up or passing the hors d’oeuvres, this is a genius move. Not only are you helping someone else, your good deed equally serves your own purposes. It gives you something to do, instead of idly standing around. In a LifeProTips thread on Reddit, user Rustytrout also notes that it provides social proof that you are tight with the party-thrower. “If you are seen setting up you are viewed as closer to the host and that immediately makes a strong first impression (presuming those attending have a positive view of the host).” If you don’t want to get stuck cleaning up too, specify you need to leave by a certain time.
B) Guess the Infinitive. Complete the gaps with the suitable verbs. (+) = positive infinitive, (-) = negative infinitive
1. I don’t like my job. I’ve decided another one. (+)2. Oh dear! I forgot the lights. (+)3. I promise anybody your secret. (-)4. Your sister’s really friendly. It was very nice her. (+)5. I was sorry you when you were here last week. (-)6. You don’t need an umbrella. It’s not going to rain. (+)
Make sure that you know these words and phrases.
to be down = to be unhappyto brighten up = to cheer up, feel betterto desert = to leave alone, abandonto keep one’s head together = to have sound mind
Ditch the negativity
Remember, everyone is almost always thinking about themselves. Themselves, you hear me? There is no spotlight on you (unless your hair catches fire when you laugh and tilt your head back into a shelf candle). Seriously, no one is looking at or noticing you nearly as much as you think. Ditch the self-consciousness, negative self-talk, and feeling like you don’t belong. You were invited, remember? That means the host thinks you’re a good addition to the gathering.
Dont Be Afraid to Admit Youre Vulnerable
When you arrive, it’s easy to grab a drink and immediately retreat to the corner, where you feel safe. But you may be surprised at how people respond when you’re open about your vulnerability instead.
Find another shy, solo guest and laugh about the fact that neither of you know anyone. I tried this at an event recently: I found another guest who was alone, asked if she knew anyone, and we both admitted how overwhelmed we felt. From there, the conversation naturally progressed. This made it a lot easier to mingle with other people, too, because we did it together.
On the other hand, it might be easier to approach an outgoing person. If you can find the life of the party, chances are, they will be pretty open to chatting you up and introducing you to other people.
You could also look for groups of two:
if you see a pair of people talking, the chances are that they arrived together and know they should be mingling. Or else they have just met and are, in the back of their minds, worried that they’re going to end up talking to this one person all night. (You’ve just made it easier for one of them to exit.) Either way, they’re relieved to see you. And your chances of having a decent conversation are better, because now you’re talking to two people, not just one.
It’s a tactic we’ve mentioned before, and your mileage will vary obviously. Everyone’s personality is different, and the type of party or event might matter too. Feel out the vibe, then find the strategy you’re most comfortable with: finding a shy person, talking to the life of the party or approaching a pair.
Whichever you choose, it helps to be open about the fact that you don’t know anyone. Other guests will usually feel more inclined to include you. It’s a social gathering, after all.
Remember: Theres No Spotlight on You
It’s hard not to feel awkward when you’re alone in a social setting. But the more awkward you feel, the more nervous you become. It helps to remember there’s no spotlight on you. Or, as Paid to Exist founder Jonathan Mead puts it: ” no one cares, so do what you want.” In other words, stop worrying about other people so much, and have a good time:
You walk into the opening party at an event you’ve been wanting to attend all year. It’s like a big-freaking-deal in your world. Maybe it’s the World Domination Summit or SXSW. Whatever it is, you’re excited, nervous and totally self-conscious. You wonder what everyone will think of you. Maybe they will think you’re lame. Maybe they will find out that you’re not really an expert and have no business teaching what you’re teaching. You’ll be found out. Laughed at. Or worse, no one will talk to you at all. But have you ever noticed that everyone else is busy thinking about themselves? Suddenly, you’re in a big room full of people freaking out about what everyone thinks about them, when no one is really thinking about anyone else at all.
As we’ve mentioned, this is a really liberating way of looking at the situation. It applies well to life as a whole, but it’s also great advice for a party.
Going to a party or event alone sounds intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. Prepare yourself with a few methods for starting a conversation, and you’ll be fine. Once you find just one person to talk to, the whole situation becomes a lot easier. After a while, you may even forget about how awkward you felt.