I want to lose my virginity before I have sex

Reader Success Stories

  • Jenny Huang

Jul 15, 2016

    Jenny Huang Jul 15, 2016

    “This is a great passage. I am undergoing a very confused time. This passage taught me a lot. Sex seems so wonderful. Now I think I’m more prepared than before. In China, we don’t get this kind of sex education. All we got was two drawn pictures and I still didn’t understand! Hope you guys can keep going on and tell us more about our body and sex. Thanks.” …” more

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If you’ve been on a few dates with a girl, kissed her and she likes you just suggest that for your next date you get a room together

At the end of a date that’s going well but has no chance of ending in sex, in-person suggest that the two of you get a cozy room together next time. She’ll almost always accept. If you do this over text this is less successful. If she rejects your offer and says uhm… it’s too early for us to spend the night together! That’s fine if she’s still willing to see you again you’re making progress. Just make the offer again in a week. If she seems staunchly opposed to it move on to another girl.

Then spend a little bit of money to get a room at a decent hotel or off AirBNB. Meet her like normal for dinner or a drink and then go back to your place.

This goes against the pickup artist dogma that you should never tell a girl your plans to sleep with her. Pick-up artists suggest that you invite a girl out for a drink and then just nonchalantly invite her back to your room to watch a movie or whatever but I’ve had pretty good luck with being a bit more direct. Often I’ve been in a situation where I had been on a date or two with a girl and was eager to see if she actually liked me enough to sleep with me or be my girlfriend so I’ll just suggest that we get dinner and a room together for a romantic evening. This is a step above casual sex and if you’re dating a relatively conservative girl she’ll appreciate your chivalry and likely accept. It gives her the chance to shave down there prior and wear something that makes her feel sexy. Also in this crazy #metoo era, it mitigates the chances that she’ll impulsively sleep with you, regret it and cause you a world of trouble. In my experience it also makes the first-time sexual encounter a whole lot more comfortable; you won’t be in a huge hurry to close the deal and you get to have morning sex when you wake up together.

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I Was Ready to Party (Not Ready to Land in the Hospital)

Whenever someone tells you about how he or she met his first love, it usually starts with a romantic eye contact and a shy smile. Well, the four year love story with my ex-girlfriend also starts with the moment she looked into my eyes. The only difference is that I was so drunk that I couldn’t even remember her the next day.

Even though she went to the same school that I went to, she never attracted my attention. She was the typical nerdy girl next door with blond hair, casual clothes and big glasses. To be completely honest, I didn’t even know that she existed until the day that should change the direction of my entire life.

It was a warm sunny day, the last day in school and my friends and I were ready to have a good time. As usual we met for a pre-lash at my friend’s house, who happened to be one of the best friends of my future ex-girlfriend. Yep, sometimes destiny is an asshole.

As you probably already know I don’t drink any alcohol. This was not always the case. Back then I used to drink a lot.

I mean, getting drunk was the only way for me to get loose and to get rid of my inhibitions, insecurities and social anxiety.

I am still not sure if someone filled me up or if someone threw something really nasty in my bucket of sangria. The only thing I can remember is that I was puking in front of the club, that one of my friends dragged me to the toilet and that I woke up in the hospital where I just smiled at the doctor before I puked on her shoes.

I warned you that the story of how I lost my virginity is anything but glorious…

 

To Come or Not to Come, That’s the Question

Three seconds, two seconds, one seconds…aaahh.

No, I was not counting the seconds until I came. I was counting the seconds until I had the pleasure to feel her warm and wet pussy around my dick. Of course my dick was safely wrapped in a condom, but that didn’t change anything about the fact that this was the most pleasurable feeling I have ever encountered.

In case you are a virgin you won’t be able to fully understand this feeling unless you experience it for yourself. The best description I can give you is this:

Now back to the three seconds countdown. Whenever

Now back to the three seconds countdown. Whenever you watch a movie in which a guy loses his virginity, he usually moves back and forth one or two times until he ejaculates with a loud and happy scream. While it is generally true that a lot of freshly backed ex-virgins come pretty fast, I have also talked to a lot of men who experienced the opposite.

In fact, I am the living proof that the opposite of virgins with premature ejaculation exists. The process of how I lost my virginity can’t be described as a short and exciting sprint, but as a fun and eventually very painful marathon.

We did it in every position you can possibly think of. First in the missionary position, then doggy style, then she rode me like a rodeo horse. We did it all. The only problem was that I just couldn’t come. I don’t know if it was the fear of getting her pregnant, the nervousness or the thoughts of what I should do after we had sex.

I guess it was a combination of different fears, insecurities and my mental overload. I must have banged her four at least 40 minutes when she first asked me if everything was alright while the sweat was dripping down her face, her breasts and even her ass. After about an hour of relentless thrusting I had a cramp in my left foot, which forced me to leave the warm and wet paradise.

After one hour of pumping without coming, the fun was officially over. My whole body hurt, my penis was red like a cherry lollipop and I had to drink at least one liter of water to refill everything I lost by sweating like a pig.

I think now you understand why she never doubted that I had a few sex partners before her.

 

You might be thinking…

I can totally see how these motivational factors were missing in my past attempts to lose my virginity. So I’ll have my best friend, wingman, roommate or family member be my accountability partner, maybe I’ll even make a bet with them that I need to lose my virginity or else I need to pay them some amount of money so I get sunk cost working for me…

Well, that might work. But, it’s generally a pretty bad idea to have your friends or family as your accountability partner for a few reasons…

  • If they care about you they will usually enthusiastically agree at first. But often they quickly lose interest. Your loved ones want the best for you but they have their own lives and responsibilities. Also, this coaching is work, it is a service. If you’re not paying them for their time and attention how can you expect them to be committed?
  • Accountability entails real pressure. It’s not always pleasant and it certainly introduces a degree of friction. It’s not really fair to assail the tranquility of your most important relationships with this sometimes confrontational requirement of accountability.
  • Meaningfully overcoming your virginity is going to require some very red pill mindsets and yielding some social dynamics lifehacks from the fringes of polite society. Your friends and family may really frown upon what’s actually going to work to get you beyond this. Along with accountability, they’ll give you crappy, mainstream socially conditioned advice — just be yourself, just be confident, don’t try so hard, follow your heart, be a gentleman and you’ll naturally lose your virginity — that won’t really help you.
  • Finally, there’s this very well studied psychological phenomenon that if you talk about your goals to your friends and family it demotivates you from actually accomplishing them. The emotional pleasure of telling other people about your goal is so intoxicating that it demotivates you. Do you actually want to lose your virginity or do you just want to talk about it?

If you’re serious about this, hire a professional coach to keep you accountable. Your friends and family will respect you a lot more if they see you independently taking action and changing your life.

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