Why Do I Attract Needy People? (And How to Deal With Them!)


A weak man is someone who always depends on other people in his life. He can’t do anything on his own. His own self-worth is dictated by other people.

It is characteristic of a needy man to not make any decisions for himself. He’ll always complain about what other people aren’t doing for him.

He might know what’s right and what’s wrong, but he’ll still always end up choosing the wrong because he’s a weak person.

A quick side note, the same definition, of course, applies to being a weak woman.

Obviously in a healthy relationship, there’s a balance of both partners being strong and weak at certain times.

If you’re constantly finding yourself only attracting and dating weak, needy men, it’s time to look at a few possible reasons why.

1. You love taking care of weak and needy men

If you’re finding that you’re always cleaning up their mess and sometimes enjoy cleaning up their mess… you’re always going to attract the types of guys who need their messes cleaned up.

2. You don’t leave room in the relationship for a strong man

If you’re the type of person who needs to dictate every single thing that happens in the relationship, and you’re a total control freak, then you know what? The only guy who’s going to be in a relationship with you is going to be a weak and emotionally needy man.

Like I said, a great relationship has a balance of both strengths and weaknesses at certain times. Sometimes you just need to leave room for a guy who has some strength.


3) They don’t take responsibility for their lives

One habit of needy people is not taking responsibility for their lives.

I think taking responsibility is the most powerful attribute we can possess in life.

Because the reality is that YOU are ultimately responsible for everything that happens in your life, including for your happiness and unhappiness, successes and failures, and for feelings of self worth.

Yet needy people always look to other people to solve their problems.They seek approval from others rather than approving themselves.

I want to briefly share with you how taking responsibility has transformed my own life, including the perception I have of myself.

Did you know that 6 years ago I was anxious, miserable and working every day in a warehouse?

I was stuck in a hopeless cycle and had no idea how to get out of it. I basically approached life like a stupid person would.

My solution was to stamp out my victim mentality and take personal responsibility for everything in my life. I wrote about my journey here.

Fast forward to today and my website Hack Spirit is helping millions of people make radical shifts in their own lives. We’ve become one of the world’s biggest websites on mindfulness and practical psychology.

This isn’t about bragging, but to show how powerful taking responsibility can be…

… Because you too can transform your own life by taking complete ownership of it.

To help you do this, I’ve collaborated with my brother Justin Brown to create an online personal responsibility workshop. We give you a unique framework for finding your best self and achieving powerful things.

It’s quickly become Ideapod’s most popular workshop. Check it out here.

I know that life isn’t always kind or fair. We don’t enter this world wanting to be needy and lacking self worth.

But courage, perseverance, honesty — and above all else taking responsibility — are the only ways to overcome the challenges that life throws at us.

If you want to seize control of your life, like I did 6 years ago, then this is the online resource you need.

Here’s a link to our best-selling workshop again.

5) They need others to say they are right

Needy people have a unique ability to prove themselves right. If they can’t be wrong, it might be that they are a needy person.

Even when they know they’re dead wrong, do they still work to prove some element of their debate correct?

This is because they will lose confidence in themselves if others know they are wrong. It’s a pride thing.

How to unload a needy friend who drains you of energy

  • Change the nature of your friendship by learning to say “no” and setting boundaries (e.g. “Even though we are both single, I don’t want to spend every Friday night together.”)
  • Tell her that you have to tend to your own needs (or those of anyone else you can think of)
  • Slip away – Spend less time with her and add other less demanding friends to your inventory
  • Take a “relationship sabbatical” or hiatus from the friendship (you deserve it!)
  • If it’s that bad, simply cut loose!

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